Mothers Day

I have to speak on Mothers Day - fun for me.

I'm trying to pick a funny story to use, I'd love some input.

Thanks.

Story 1

Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, “I’m tired, and it’s getting late. I think I’ll go to bed.”

She went into the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day’s lunches, rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, and put spoons and bowls on the table for the next morning.

She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the wash, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button. She picked up the game pieces left on the table and put the telephone book back into the drawer. She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry. She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the field trip, and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair. She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick noted for the grocery store. She put both near her purse. Mom then washed her face, put on moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and trimmed her nails.

Dad called out “I thought you were going to bed.”

“I’m on my way” she said. Then she put some water into the dog’s dish and called the cat in, then made sure the doors were locked. She looked in on each of the kids and turned out a bedside lamp, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks in the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one still up doing homework. In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her list of things to do for tomorrow. About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular, “I’m going to bed.”


Story 2 - patterned after "If you give a mouse a cookie"

If you give a Mom a day off, she is going to want to take a bath. If she goes into the bathroom she will probably notice the garbage need to be taken out. When she takes the garbage out she is going to walk through the laundry room. When she walks through the laundry room she will decide she needs to do some laundry. When she starts some laundry she will decide to gather all the kids laundry and do that too. When she goes in the kids room she will notice the room needs to be cleaned. While she is cleaning the room she will find a bug collection and decide they need to be released in the yard. If she goes into the yard she will probably look around and see that there are weeds that need to be pulled. After she pulls weeds she will want to go get cleaned up. If she goes into the bathroom she will probably see the bathtub and if she sees the bathtub she is probably going to want another day off.

Story 3

The Girl in a Whirl

by ‘Dr. Sue’ (a.k.a. Vickie Gunther)

Look at me, look at me, look at me now!

You could do what I do

If you only knew how.

I study the scriptures one hour each day;

I bake,

I upholster,

I scrub,

and I pray.

I always keep all the commandments completely;

I speak to my little ones gently and sweetly.

I help in their classrooms!

I sew all they wear!

I drive them to practice!

I cut all their hair!

I memorize names of the General Authorities;

I focus on things to be done by priorities.

I play the piano!

I bless with my talents!

My toilets all sparkle!

My checkbooks all balance!

Each week every child gets a one-on-one date;

I attend all my meetings (on time! Never late!)

I’m taking a class on the teachings of Paul,

But that is not all! Oh, no. That is not all .

I track my bad habits ’til each is abolished;

Our t-shirts are ironed!

My toenails are polished!

Our family home evenings are always delightful;

The lessons I give are both fun and insightful.

I do genealogy faithfully, too.

It’s easy to do all the things that I do!

I rise each day early, refreshed and awake;

I know all the names of each youth in my stake!

I read to my children!

I help all my neighbors!

I bless the community, too, with my labors.

I exercise and I cook menus gourmet;

My visiting teaching is done the first day!

(I also go do it for someone who missed hers.

It’s the least I can do for my cherished ward sisters.)

I chart resolutions and check off each goal;

I seek each “lost lamb” on my Primary roll.

I can home-grown produce each summer and fall.

But that is not all! Oh, no. That is not all .

I write in my journal!

I sing in the choir!

Each day, I write “thank you’s” to those I admire.

My sons were all Eagles when they were fourteen!

My kids get straight A’s!

And their bedrooms are clean!

I have a home business to help make some money;

I always look beautifully groomed for my honey.

I go to the temple at least once a week;

I change the car’s tires!

I fix the sink’s leak!

I grind my own wheat and I bake all our bread;

I have all our meals planned out six months ahead.

I make sure I rotate our two-years’ supply;

My shopping for Christmas is done by July!

These things are not hard;

’tis good if you do them;

You can if you try!

Just set goals and pursue them!

It’s easy to do all the things that I do!

If you plan and work smart, you can do them all, too!

It’s easy!” she said

and then she dropped dead.